


A New Year; A New Us

by destielling



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Natasha plays matchmaker, New Years kisses, bucky is clueless, steve is also clueless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 19:25:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9137971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielling/pseuds/destielling
Summary: Steve and Bucky are clueless, and Natasha plays matchmaker.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So I think I can speak for all of us when I say that this was definitely the worst year in a long while. I thought I'd write a little something to hopefully make this last day of 2016 a little better. Please let me know what you think! I've never written Natasha before, so I hope I did her character justice. 
> 
> Also, follow me on tumblr! My url is destielling, and I need more friends.

Steve looked amazing. 

Steve always looked amazing, but tonight was New Year’s eve which meant that Tony had concocted some insane form of alcohol which very quickly eradicated any form of rational thought from Bucky’s brain. So, yeah. Bucky was buzzed and Steve looked amazing. 

Usually Bucky would have these thoughts buried in the back of his head, held down by excuses and doubts, which were always quite reasonable. But tonight, with every sip of his drink - which was an alarming vibrant green color - the reasons stopped holding any validity. And one by one, they seemed to just sort of, float away. 

Which should be terrible. Rational Bucky would be freaking out right now, would be wondering what the _hell_ he thinks he’s doing looking at Steve’s lips like that. But this Bucky just thinks, _wow his tongue is really pink when he runs it along that bottom lip._ And it’s all a losing battle, really. Because Bucky doesn’t seem to have any notion of stopping the thoughts or the weird experimental alcohol, or his body when he would press his arm against Steve’s to feel the heat. And it was all heat. Every part of Bucky’s body was on fire, and he didn’t know where it started, but he was pretty certain the culprit was Steve’s shirt and the way it clung to his chest. Or maybe it was the way his face lit up when Bucky would speak, or the way he would throw his head back in laughter when Bucky made a stupid joke. 

It was probably the shirt. 

Regardless, Bucky should probably stop drinking, and should definitely stop thinking about, well much of anything, really. Because Tony had a very large and bright countdown up on the wall, and every hour Jarvis’ voice would melodically read out how much time was left until midnight. And Bucky really didn’t need another reminder to the fact that he wouldn’t be kissing a specific blue-eyed, blonde haired super soldier. In fact he needed to get far away from said individual, or else he was bound to do something inherently stupid. And with Steve continually drawing Bucky’s eyes to his lips, and with Tony _and then_ Thor constantly passing him more drinks, Bucky really thought he might explode. 

“How ya doing, Buck?” Steve asked, and Bucky had to hold the laughter back, because what a _ridiculous_ question. 

“Oh, I’m peachy,” Bucky said, and gave what he hoped was one of his dazzling smiles. It seemed to work, because Steve just smiled back softly, tilted his head a bit. Bucky really wanted to feel that smile on his lips. 

“This is all a bit….” Steve said, waving his hand, and Bucky thought _those are nice hands._ “Intense.” 

“Yeah,” Bucky said, said it because he really wasn’t sure what else to say. He didn’t know what was more intense; the grandeur of Tony’s party, the alcohol, or the overwhelming feeling in his chest. “Tony really goes all out.” 

Steve laughed, bright and loud, and if Bucky had to listen to one noise for the rest of his life, that would probably be it. 

“That’s an understatement.” Steve said, and it seemed as though he couldn’t _stop_ smiling, now. Bucky was beyond grateful for that. 

Bucky was about to ask if Steve had any idea how Tony made the drinks when Jarvis’ voice filled the room. 

_“One hour until midnight.”_ And Bucky thought he saw a few looks between the group - The _Avengers_ \- at that statement, but he couldn’t be sure. What he was sure of, however, was his need to keep his eyes as far away from Steve’s as he could. 

“Any New Year’s resolutions?” Steve asked, and Bucky thought it would be rude _not_ to look at Steve, now. A mantra started playing in his head; _don’t look at his lips, look at his eyes_ , over and over. Unfortunately, Steve’s eyes were just as attractive as the rest of him. 

“Don’t seriously hurt, or kill anyone.” Bucky deadpanned. Steve just stared, and Bucky thought he might go all Captain America on him. But he just let out a low chuckle, his cheeks turning a soft shade of pink. And wasn’t that a sight. 

“Seriously, Buck.” Steve said, and Bucky knew he wasn’t going to get off that easy. The truth was, his resolution had nothing to do with injuring someone, and everything to do with the man standing in front of him. And that was a serious problem. 

“What if I don’t have one?” Bucky said, and thought maybe he could cover the lie by taking another sip of whatever the fuck he was drinking. 

“Nope,” Steve said and shook his head. “I don’t buy that.” And Bucky didn’t know why he was surprised. After all, Steve always saw right through him. 

“How about I tell you after I get a refill?” Bucky said, mentally thanking himself for draining what was left in the glass. He really needed to take his own advice and get _away_ from this conversation, or else he was eventually going to expose himself and ruin everything. 

“Yeah sure, Buck.” Steve said, and there was nothing but confusion in his eyes. That, and maybe Bucky saw a hint of pain. But then again, he often saw a lot of things that weren’t real in the past. “Get me one, too?” 

Bucky smiled, a nervous smile, grabbed the glass from Steve’s outstretched hand, and did everything in his power not to sprint to the table. 

Natasha was hovering there, and despite the whole situation of Bucky trying to kill her a few months back, they had developed an interesting relationship. Bucky wouldn’t say they were friends, but it was something close. 

“Nat,” Bucky said as he reached for some more alcohol, and he really had to give it a name, because he was really sick of calling it experimental poison. Maybe Bucky’s truth serum. That was a good one. 

“Barnes,” Natasha said, not raising her head, just examining all the food spread out on the table. Nothing seemed to interest her. She would just pick something up, smell it, and put it back down again. “How can I help you this fine evening?” 

“What’s your New Years resolution?” Bucky asked, because there was no way of trying to be secretive about it. Not around Nat. You could never ask her something in a subtle way, and Bucky really liked that about her. 

Natasha didn’t say anything for a few moments, just cocked her eyebrow in that way that she did, seemed to find something edible and popped it into her mouth. Then she stared Bucky right in the eye. 

“This is about Steve, right?” Natasha said, and sure Bucky wasn’t the best at lying, but he couldn’t have been _that_ obvious. 

“How-” 

“Oh please, you guys are basically married.” Nat cut him off. “Plus, the way you look at him-especially tonight- well I’m just surprised he hasn’t noticed.” Nat said, and Bucky wanted to die because if she was right, then that meant _everyone_ knew how he felt. Everyone except Steve, apparently, and Bucky didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing. 

“Okay, so since you seem to know everything,” Bucky said, which was probably a bad idea based on the death glare he got. “What should I do? I mean, he obviously doesn’t feel the same way.” And then Natasha laughed, and wasn’t that the strangest thing. 

“Oh, _please,_ that’s total bullshit. If you had heard the way he talked about you, you know… before, well you definitely wouldn’t be saying that.” 

“But..” Bucky said. He was at a loss for words, or thoughts, or anything other than utter confusion. “He never said anything, or _did_ anything.” And Natasha just gave her that _you’re a moron_ look.   
“It’s _Steve,_ ” Natasha said, like it was the most obvious answer to all his questions. “You really think he would do anything if he wasn’t a hundred percent sure that you felt the same way?” 

“He does stuff he doesn’t think about all the time,” Bucky grumbled, because it was true. “He jumps on _grenades_ , Natasha.” 

“That has nothing to do with this, and you know it. You’re his best friend,” Natasha said, and her voice was a little softer, now. Gentle, almost. “He could never risk that. Especially since he just got you back.” 

Bucky didn’t say anything, just began to fill up the two glasses in his hands. If Nat was right, then they had wasted _years_ tiptoeing around each other. But then the other part of Bucky’s brain, the one that said _there was no way_ , well if that part was right, then he’d lose Steve. And, which outcome was worse?

“I gotta take this back to Steve. He’s probably wondering what’s taking me so long.” Bucky said, and Nat just tilted her head, looked at him with curiosity, like he was the most interesting puzzle. Then she looked over his shoulder, and gave a sly smile. 

“I don’t think he’s worried in the slightest,” Natasha said, and nodded her head in the direction she was staring. 

She was looking at Steve, and well- Steve was looking at Bucky- and even from across the room, it made something blossom inside of Bucky’s chest. Or maybe it was his stomach. 

“Just one more thing, before you go off to be with your beloved.” Natasha said, and Bucky almost huffed out a laugh. Almost. “What’s _your_ New Years resolution?” 

Bucky wanted to scream, wanted to tell her that he wanted to be with Steve, really be with him. That he didn’t want to need excuses to touch him, didn’t want to hide anymore. But he didn’t say that; of course he didn’t.

“I’m not sure,” Bucky mumbled. “But I think I’m figuring it out.” Then, before she could say anything else, he spun around and walked away. 

He really needed to figure it out. Preferably in the next forty-five minutes. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky was beautiful. 

It was New Years eve, and after a little bit of convincing, Steve had managed to get Bucky on board with Tony’s party. They were more than a few drinks in- drinks that were definitely homemade- and Steve could feel the slight buzz in his head. The slight buzz that made his thought process, well, not what it should be. The filter in his brain was officially broken, and _maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing_ he thought as he stared at Bucky from across the room. 

Steve was never one for big parties; always felt uncomfortable in his own skin. Tonight was different though. Tonight he was surrounded by his friends, by people he loved, and he couldn’t help but feel extremely lucky to have so many. Sure, they were the aftermath of a lot of fucked up situations, but they were _family_. And with Bucky having come back a few months ago, Steve had started to piece himself back together. Isn’t it funny, how one person can mean so much, no matter how many people you’re surrounded by?

Bucky’s back was facing Steve, as he chatted with Natasha. When Bucky first came back, Steve thought they would be like cats and dogs, and had been pleasantly surprised when the exact opposite had happened. Out of everyone, other than Steve, Bucky was probably the closest with Natasha. 

Steve began to wonder what they were talking about, what had made Bucky’s back tense up like that. Nat seemed to be talking to him gently, which was a rarity, but Bucky’s stance didn’t let up. Steve thought that he must be receiving information that he _really didn’t want._ Then Bucky turned, and their eyes met, and Steve could feel the heat pooling inside of his chest. 

His eyes were _so blue_ , even from across the room. Steve didn’t know how he could ever have forgotten that; cursed himself every day that he had. They were the color of the sky, and the ocean, and Steve immediately wanted to paint both of those things; both in the shade of Bucky’s eyes. 

Then Bucky was walking towards him, and Steve shook his head, looked down, because his face must obviously be showing how he’s feeling. There’s no way anyone could misread it. 

“Hey,” Bucky said, and then there was a full glass being placed into his hand, and Steve thought _thank God,_ because alcohol always fixed everything, right? “Got you another round of, whatever the fuck this is.” And that forced a chuckle out of Steve, and then Bucky. 

“So,” Steve said, took a swig of his drink, felt a different type of burning in his chest and continued. “What were you and Natasha talking about?” 

“Um,” Bucky said, and then his cheeks were turning red, and Steve thought _that was a God damn sight._ “Just, the New Year.” 

“Could you be any more vague, Buck?” Steve asked, and Bucky chuckled but Steve had the overwhelming sense that Bucky was, well, _nervous._ Nervous or embarrassed, and those were things that Bucky never was. “Come on, you can tell me.”

“I don’t know, Stevie. This might be something you don’t wanna know.” Bucky said, and that was the most ridiculous thing. There’s nothing Steve wouldn’t want to know about the man standing in front of him. This blushful, brilliant, beautiful man. 

Basically, Steve was fucked. 

“Of course I want to know,” Steve said, and to get his point across, he reached over and grasped Bucky’s shoulder. It felt warm, and solid beneath his palm. It felt _real._ “I’m your friend, Buck. I’m always gonna be here for you.” 

“What if what I have to say ruins that?” Bucky said, and his voice sounded so vulnerable. And he _looked_ vulnerable. His lips were formed in a pout, and his eyes were so soft. Steve wanted to run his thumb over that pout. 

_”Thirty minutes until midnight.”_ Jarvis’ voice rang out, and Steve just looked at Bucky, looked at the strand of hair that had escaped his messy bun. The man Steve wanted to kiss so badly at midnight, and so many more times after that. 

“Impossible,” Steve murmured, and then despite his inner voice yelling _stop_ , he moved his hand from Bucky’s shoulder to that specific strand of hair. And then he tucked it behind Bucky’s ear, and Bucky inhaled sharply, stood stalk frozen, and Steve _shouldn’t_ be doing this. This was too much, too obvious. 

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Steve said suddenly, too loudly, and Bucky seemed to shake himself off, regaining his somewhat relaxed stature. 

“I’ll be here.” Bucky said, and Steve reluctantly pulled his hand away, gave a small smile and walked to the bathroom. The one he really didn’t need. 

After splashing some water on his face, and mentally pulling himself together, Steve went back to join the others. Or that was his plan until Natasha showed up out of nowhere and blocked his path. 

“Rogers,” Natasha said, and there was something dangerous in her tone. Something that told Steve to get the fuck out of there. “I think we need to have a little chat.” 

“Hey Nat,” Steve said, and smiled as big and charming as he could. “What’s up?” 

“Well, nothing apparently.” Natasha said and scowled. “You need to talk to James.” And then Steve’s brain was screaming red alert, and it was obviously transferring to his face because Natasha just gave a knowing smirk. 

“We talk all the time. I was actually just on my way back, so if you don’t m-” 

“Don’t bullshit me, you know what I mean.” Natasha said, and Steve took a deep breath. There was no point in lying to her, no way he could get around this. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Steve said, because Bucky and him had been friends since _forever_ , and how could he go about changing that now? How could he be so selfish as to want more? 

“Yeah, you two seem to have that in common.” Natasha muttered. “Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever had to deal with this much idiocy before.” 

“You had to deal with Tony,” Steve said. “That’s gotta be the worse than this.” 

“Tony is a breeze compared to you,” Natasha said, and Steve really wanted to get away from this conversation. Because he knew that Natasha would make him say it, say the words out loud. And once that happened, well then it would be real. “Just tell him, Steve. Or I’m going to push your faces together myself, because I’m really tired of watching the lovesick puppy dog eyes.” 

“I don’t give lovesick puppy dog eyes,” Steve said, and he was one hundred percent sure that his face was an embarrassing red color now. Could feel the blush forming in his chest, moving upward. 

“Who said I was talking about you?” Natasha asked, cocking her eyebrow. And what the hell? 

“Bucky?” Steve asked, and Nat just huffed out a breath, like this was the most annoying conversation she’d ever had. “No, he definitely doesn’t give puppy dog eyes.” 

“Like I said; idiocy.” Natasha said. “Look, as much as I love wasting my time playing matchmaker, it’s getting tiresome. Your _best friend in the entire world_ and I just had a very similar conversation. It’s almost midnight, and I can only guess who you would possibly want to smush faces with, and I know the exact same for James.” 

Steve’s brain was whirring way too quickly, he could feel his stomach rolling, and he didn’t know if the reason was the alcohol, or Nat’s words. 

“What do you mean you had the same conversation with Bucky?” Steve asked softly. “That’s what you were talking about?”  
“Yes, Steve. Now if you don’t go over there and tell him how you feel, I’m gonna have to start making threats. And you know how much I love doing that.” 

“But what did he say?” Steve asked and Natasha groaned. There was no way she was right, but that little glimmer of hope in the back of Steve’s mind was becoming relentless. Telling him to do exactly what Natasha said. 

“Go ask him yourself. I’m not gonna do _all_ the work for you.” Natasha said, and when Steve remained frozen, she placed her hand on his arm. “Seriously, Steve, you can trust me.” 

“Okay,” Steve said, because of course he could trust her. One of the few people who actually knew him, and she wouldn’t say that stuff about Bucky if it wasn’t true. Hopefully. “Okay, I’m going.” 

“Don’t get too frisky out there,” Natasha called after him. “Just remember, there’s other people here who have to witness whatever you’re gonna do.” 

_”Ten minutes until midnight.”_

Steve cleared his throat as he approached Bucky. Beautiful Bucky. Best friend, Bucky. Maybe something more, Bucky. 

“Hey,” Steve said, and his heart was beating so fast and so loud, that he was surprised Bucky couldn’t hear it. “Sorry, I was attacked by a certain Russian spy.” And Bucky laughed, and Steve thought that that was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. 

“Yeah, I know the feeling.” Bucky said and he was beaming. Steve could never understand how someone could think that he was anything other than brightness, and life. 

“She said some interesting stuff,” Steve said, and the smile was immediately wiped from Bucky’s face. He looked scared, now. “Some stuff about you, and… me.” 

“Oh?” Bucky said, and he looked at his feet now, wouldn’t meet Steve’s gaze. 

“Yeah. Any idea what I’m talking about?” Steve said, because he needed to hear it. Needed Bucky to say it with his own words. 

“I don’t think I could tell ya,” Bucky said, and he was sliding into his cocky facade now. Putting the shields up, and Steve thought that this was the opposite of what he wanted. “You never can trust spies, right?” 

“Buck,” Steve said, and Bucky looked at Steve then, and his eyes weren’t cocky at all. They were sad, and vulnerable, and _broken._ “You can tell me.”   
“I don’t think I can, Stevie.” Bucky said, and Steve thought that this was much harder than Nat had made it out to be. How do you go from being best friends to more? “I’ll just ruin everything.” 

_”Five minutes until midnight.”_

“You won’t,” Steve said quickly, and he wanted to touch Bucky so badly. Wanted to cup his face in both hands, wanted to feel skin against skin. 

“How do you know?” Bucky said, and he sounded like the little boy from Brooklyn. Before all the war, and heartbreak and death. 

“You’re my best friend, Buck. When have I ever lied to you?” Steve said, and Bucky gave a small chuckle. 

“Well, a few times actually.” Bucky said. “Remember the grenade?” 

“You weren’t there for that, so it doesn’t count. Also, I never lied about it.” 

“Not telling me is almost as bad,” Bucky said, and they always stood so close, didn’t they? “And you lie about your feelings.” 

_”Two minutes until midnight.”_

“Which feelings would those be?” Steve asked, and his voice was so quiet now. 

“You tell me, Steve.” Bucky said, and his face was right there, his lips so close. 

_”Thirty seconds until midnight.”_

Bucky was right, Steve was never good at talking about his feelings. Never good at talking about romance, or sex, or anything other than patriotic speeches. 

_”Ten, nine, eight, seven, six-”_

“Can I show you?” Steve asked, and Bucky’s eyes were wide, and his lips were parted, and without a word he gave a small nod. And that was the best thing Steve had ever seen. 

_”Five, four, three, two, one.”_

The room exploded with screams of _Happy New Year!_ , but Steve, well his heart was exploding with something else, as he grabbed the back of Bucky’s neck, and pulled him in.   
And then they were kissing. Bucky’s lips urgent against his own, and if Steve thought he was overheating before, well then he was on fire now. Steve moved his hand to grasp Bucky’s hair, Bucky making a small noise into his mouth. 

It was urgent, and messy, and _amazing._ Bucky bit Steve’s bottom lip, and Steve groaned deep and loud, and why the hell hadn’t they been doing this since the beginning? Bucky’s lips were the sweetest thing that Steve had ever tasted. 

They kissed and kissed, hot and wet and a small voice in the back of Steve’s head told him to slow down. To stop, because they were in a room full of _other people._ But then Bucky was raking his nails along Steve’s chest, and any coherent thought disappeared. 

They parted eventually, gasping for breath. Bucky’s lips were swollen, and there was more than one strand of hair loose now, and almost all of the blue in his eyes had been replaced by black pupils. 

“So,” Steve said, and his voice was rough, and Bucky swallowed, taking deep, uneven breaths. “That’s what I wanted to say.” 

And then applause broke out through the room, and Steve turned to see everyone clapping. Clapping and smiling, and Steve couldn’t escape the smile that overtook his own face. Then he felt fingers intertwining with his own, and he looked down to see his hand and Bucky’s clasped together. 

“Happy New Year, Stevie.” Bucky said, and Steve looked at him and thought that he’d never loved something as much as he loved Bucky Barnes. 

“Happy New Year, Buck.” Steve said, and just because he could, he pressed his lips against Bucky’s once again, and let the applause drown to nothing in the background.


End file.
